FOR RELATIONSHIP ISSUES
WHAT DO COUNSELLING KINESIOLOGY™ SESSIONS INVOLVE?
CK™ consists of three stages –
A talk therapy stage consisting of carefully targeted questions and supportive listening. It assists people in feeling safe to open up and talk about their deepest troubling issues and the feelings surrounding them. Clients are supported to identify their goals (both as individuals and in relationship), investigate their past histories and attempts to solve past difficulties, and to look at what is getting in the way of resolving their current issues. It will often involve looking at where things started to go off track in the relationship and how this continues to affect the present. Strategies for making changes and action plans to implement them are investigated in this stage.
A kinesiology stage that uses muscle testing to identify the underlying issue and the emotions associated with it. It is done individually, so that with couples, each partner is worked with separately. When the other member of the couple observes it, (the ideal situation), empathy, support & understanding is built between the couple. A guided visualising process unique to CK™ follows to help the person connect (often quite emotionally), with the underlying issue identified. Gentle de-stressing techniques are then used to resolve it. These underlying issues are often upsetting experiences in previous relationships. Typically they go back much further to relationship difficulties with parents and siblings, during childhood and adolescence, where attitudes to relationships were being formed. It is very empowering to discover your emotional pattern in relationships and realise that it does not need to be this way. Forming an action plan to build the relationship you really want becomes the next step.
An integrative stage of supportive exercises to actively bring about positive changes. These include exercises to enhance communication skills, resolve disagreements effectively, build closeness together and to understand yourself and your partner better. There are also exercises for dealing with the issues that undermine relationships such as, sexual & intimacy issues, money concerns, parenting difficulties (including blended families), conflicting needs, infidelity and anxious or troubling thoughts. In addition, there are exercises developed by Debra and Gordon drawn from coaching and positive psychology research, for enhancing relationships rather than just dealing with the problem areas.
HOW MANY SESSIONS DOES IT TAKE?
For couples, CK™ consultations are initially spread over three to four weekly or fortnightly sessions, to deal with the immediate issues. The first session is often just talking about the issues, the history and the past. For couples sessions, it is best to have a 1½ hr session or a double session (2 hours) to do this thoroughly. Helpful homework exercises are given at the end of this, based on what has been addressed during this session. The subsequent two sessions will typically look at the difficulties encountered after the previous sessions and challenges encountered with implementing the exercises. The second session will typically involve a kinesiology balance with the partner who is most struggling with the changes, to resolve the underlying issues contributing to this. In the following session, the roles will be reversed and the kinesiology balance will be done with the other partner. Further exercises will be suggested as seem relevant to what is being addressed.
A fourth session helps to appraise the conflicting patterns in the relationship identified in the kinesiology balances (if not done before), and how the exercises can be used to help build the relationship further. The consultations are open ended after these initial sessions and depend on what the couple wants to deal with further. Further exercises will be suggested as seem relevant to what is being addressed.
For individuals, the process can go much faster. An initial 1½ hr session is still recommended but in this time, talking about the issue, working on it with the kinesiology balance and giving some reinforcing exercises can usually all be covered. Subsequent sessions involve looking at the pattern in relationships that has been uncovered, and discussing strategies for addressing it with further exercises to support changes. Often couples sessions flow on from individuals who are now keen to involve their partner’s in the CK™ process.
WHAT IF YOU DON’T WANT TO GO ON WITH THIS RELATIONSHIP?
We appreciate that not all relationships are appropriate to continue, although we do feel that overcoming relationship difficulties is the most powerful path for learning about yourself, about life and to grow as a person. Of course, this requires the support of both people in a relationship and if one person in the relationship is unwilling to move, then the relationship is unable to move. If the decision is to break up, then it is important to have the skills to cleanly leave relationships without taking lots of baggage with you, and to minimise the damaging impact on any children involved. This is also an important aspect of CK™.
WHAT IF YOU ARE SINGLE AND LOOKING FOR A NEW RELATIONSHIP?
Finding and maintaining a new relationship is challenging enough on its own, let alone after a relationship break-up. CK™ also addresses this issue with the three stage process and specific exercises to build confidence and trust, and to assist with finding and maintaining a new and empowering relationship.
WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT COUNSELLING KINESIOLOGY™
FOR RELATIONSHIP ISSUES –
“We felt clear and light after the days with you – like a burden had been lifted from our shoulders”. “We have let go of criticism and sarcasm and nipped the destructive arguments in the bud using the techniques we learned.”
“My husband is now trying to persuade everyone to do Counselling Kinesiology which is a complete turnaround”.
“What I learnt about myself and processed through the CK has allowed me to have a relationship with a person who is loving and fair and looking forward to growing together in every way. I just wanted to thank you both immensely for your help”.
“It was so nice to have people I trust completely offer us support and advice, so openly and honestly, about how to handle our issues differently”.
“The children have commented how different their Dad is – that now he actually listens to them”.
“The work has helped us both in so many ways. Thanks again”
© 2017 Gordon Dickson, Counselling Kinesiology™