BREAK FREE FROM YOUR LIMITING
Discover Your Limiting Mindset
and How to Break Free
You get thousands of messages thrown at you every day from the media, advertising and the inter-net, many of them designed to manipulate you into thinking a particular way, or buying a particular product. They do this by trying to make you feel inadequate or unfulfilled. A lot of this is pretty obvi-ous and easy to discount.
But what about those messages that came to you from your parents, well before you had the ability to judge for yourself?
Your folks may have been well-meaning, or sometimes acting out their own frustrations, but these messages get embedded and hidden deep inside.
You see kids speaking these messages to their toys (heck I have heard my own kids saying them) and then they go in even deeper and are the subconscious drivers of your life.
Wouldn’t it be good to be able to root them out and challenge them, then throw away the ones that are doing you harm and holding you back?
A simple example regarding money – ask yourself, “What if I became extremely wealthy. What would my Mum/Dad/Siblings say?” Suddenly you are discovering some of your limiting beliefs around money. Maybe it is not money, maybe it is getting fulfilment in life or the relationship you really want. The limiting beliefs are still there.
Use some of the questions below to identify limiting beliefs and an unhelpful Mindset, then follow the steps to get rid of the ones that are doing you harm.
Step 1 – Choose One Area You Want to Work On (one at a time!)
Identify an area where you are wanting to make changes in and feel you are hitting a brick wall, procrastinating about or keeping on sliding back after making initial changes. If things have re-mained the same in this area for quite some time, then there is probably a Mindset issue controlling it.
Some typical areas would be –
• Finances, Influencing Others, Job Promotion, Job Fulfilment
• Relationships (getting a fulfilling one, improving the one you have, leaving one)
• Friendships, Accepted in Groups
• Letting Go and Having Fun, Work / Life Balance, Freedom
• Fulfilment in Live
• Having Children, Bringing Up Children, Having Happy and Fulfilled Children
• Safety and Security in Life
Imagine what real success, potency and lasting achievement would look like in this area and write down a ‘brief descriptive statement’ e.g. ‘Extremely wealthy’; ‘Loved and supported in this rela-tionship in the way I have so wanted to be loved and supported.’
Step 2 – Relax and Tune into yourself
On your own, look at your eyes in a mirror for at least a full minute. Breathe in for four seconds, hold for 2, breathe out for 4 seconds and hold out for 2 – repeat 5-10 times.
Step 3 – Identify the Limiting Beliefs and Unhelpful Mindset
Imagine you are looking at your childhood face as you are looking at your eyes in the mirror, while your childhood self is hearing what your parent/sibling/teacher is saying, feeling or thinking.
Say out aloud –
“If I had said to my Mum I want to become / have… (your ‘brief descriptive statement’ from 1)… what would my Mum have said, felt or thought?”
Say out aloud what she would have said, felt or thought (still looking at your eyes).
Repeat this several times until all of the reservations, concerns and restrictions have been voiced by your Mum (e.g. Love never lasts; Money corrupts people and makes them selfish).
Write down any comments that particularly hit home.
Then ask the little boy / girl in the mirror “So how do you feel about that comment, thought or feel-ing?” and write down the response.
[This gives your view of your parent’s attitude and your internal response to this attitude.]
Repeat this process with Dad, significant siblings or other significant and influential people in your early life.
Step 4 – Change the Story
Analyse the comments (both your parents/siblings and how you felt about it to identify the underly-ing limiting beliefs or unhelpful mindsets. Change the comments you or your parent made into a ‘goal statement’ affirming how you are wanting to be (e.g. “I keep the love alive in my caring rela-tionship”; “I use my abundant wealth to do things that I deeply believe in”). Imagine what it would feel like really experiencing this in every detail in present time.
Step 5 – Mindfully Observe and Recommit to Change
Carry around a little object that acts as a reminder of where you are wanting to go (e.g. a love heart for a relationship; a gold coin with a picture attached of what you would like to use your money for).
Every time you move from one place to another, put the object down or hold it and ask,
“What am I thinking? What am I feeling? Is it helpful in achieving my goal?”
If not, imagine the younger self little boy / girl and repeat the ‘goal statement’ affirming how you are wanting to be. Imagine what it would feel like really experiencing this.
Then ask yourself, “What is the least I can do to move myself forwards in this direction right now?”
Take this action – as thoughts alone will not bring about change, and ‘the least’ is always doable
© 2017 Gordon Dickson, Counselling Kinesiology™